Blog — Your Dog Is Your Mirror

Most dog training focuses entirely on the dog. This conversation with Bianca Low Kum takes a different approach and looks at the relationship between the dog’s nervous system and the human’s nervous system. One of the biggest takeaways is that dogs are not just reacting to the environment. They are constantly reading the person handling them. They don’t need to understand your thoughts to know something is off. They are reading tension, posture, breathing, and movement. If you are tight, bracing, or mentally somewhere else, your dog will pick up on that and start scanning for what might be wrong....

Many dogs labeled as reactive, anxious, or difficult to settle are not misbehaving—they are overwhelmed. If your dog barks, lunges, shuts down, or struggles to relax, it can feel confusing and discouraging. In many cases, these behaviors are not training issues. They are signs of a nervous system under strain. Rather than focusing only on behavior, we look at what is driving it. This approach allows for more meaningful and lasting change. Dog Behavior Reflects Nervous System State Reactive and anxious dog behavior is often a response to too much stimulation, stress, or unpredictability. Dogs, like people, have limits to...

  I really wish I had some fancy training techniques for you. I wish I could impress you with some sharp obedience and lots of down-stays around chickens (impulse control). I wish making your dog "wait" for his dinner and then telling him "okay" was the quick and easy fix to all your training problems. But let's look on the bright side... What we do have is the built-in technology of the nervous system to detect threat and safety. What we have is the fascia, the living matrix of the body. We have neuroception, co-regulation, and somatic resonance. We have your...

Gratitude as a Nervous System Intervention Gratitude can be understood not only as a cognitive reflection, but as a state-dependent physiological experience. When accessed as a felt sense, gratitude supports ventral vagal activation—associated with safety, social engagement, and emotional regulation. The following practices are designed to facilitate shifts in autonomic state through interoception, emotional processing, and relational awareness. Present Moment Gratitude Write a letter of gratitude to your dog. Include what they have contributed to your life, what you have learned from them, and what you hope to continue experiencing together. After writing, read the letter slowly and direct your...

  If you feel your nervous system needs a reset: There are moments when the nervous system asks for a pause—a softening, a return to something steadier and more resourced. In the language of polyvagal theory, we might say the system has shifted out of ventral vagal safety and into states of mobilization (fight/flight) or immobilization (shutdown). When this happens, the goal isn’t to “fix” ourselves, but to offer cues of safety that invite the body back into regulation. This can begin very simply. Slowing down and orienting to safety One of the most direct ways to signal safety to...