Blog — Your Dog Is Your Mirror

  If you feel your nervous system needs a reset: There are moments when the nervous system asks for a pause—a softening, a return to something steadier and more resourced. In the language of polyvagal theory, we might say the system has shifted out of ventral vagal safety and into states of mobilization (fight/flight) or immobilization (shutdown). When this happens, the goal isn’t to “fix” ourselves, but to offer cues of safety that invite the body back into regulation. This can begin very simply. Slowing down and orienting to safety One of the most direct ways to signal safety to...

The Sleep/Stress Cycle The often-overlooked issue of getting enough quality sleep may be the missing key to regulating your dog’s nervous system. As many of us have experienced at some point in our lives, it’s difficult to get both the quality and quantity of sleep we need when we are chronically stressed. This can leave us “trapped” in a cycle—stress prevents restful sleep, and lack of sleep keeps us in a state of stress. This is why it’s so important to prioritize healthy sleep habits for both ourselves and our dogs. Entering a state of deep sleep and properly cycling...

  When the Student is Ready, the Teacher Appears It’s worth asking an honest question: Does your dog ever push your buttons? Do you find yourself having reactions that feel bigger than the situation calls for—frustration that escalates quickly, or moments where you feel unexpectedly overwhelmed or triggered? If so, you’re not alone. When Behavior Feels Personal Living closely with a dog creates a constant feedback loop. Your dog is responding to your cues, your energy, your patterns—and at the same time, their behavior can bring things to the surface for you. Reactions that feel immediate or intense are often...

  The polyvagal theory implies that more attention needs to be paid to the development of interventions that either promote activation of the social vagus or dampen sympathetic tone. One major implication is the need to pay closer attention the therapeutic use of play, rough and tumble behaviors that serve as preliminary exercises to develop adaptive defensive and aggressive behaviors, as a means of shifting people [and dogs] out of fight-or-flight reactions into loving and mutually engaged mobilization. --Bessel A. van der Kolk, in the foreword to: The Polyvagal Theory by Dr. Stephen W. Porges Play as Connection and Regulation Mirroring...

  All I want for Christmas this year is for everyone (including myself!) to stop romanticizing dogs. Yes, that's right, dogs are not Disney characters. I think we've been weirdly conditioned by movies like "Lady and the Tramp" and "101 Dalmations" to feel that dogs are just like us: They want to live indoors and eat spaghetti, raise their babies among humans, walk through city parks, and enjoy watching TV by the fire as much as we do. Dogs are actually still so closely related to wolves that they can interbreed with them. This, by some opinions, makes them the...