We all carry emotional baggage, and we all have triggers. Stress is one of the most universal triggers there is. When we’re stressed, we’re far more likely to become “activated”—pulled into old patterns where we’re surviving rather than thriving. At best, that state transfers to our dogs. At worst, it spills onto them through our tone, our movements, and our reactions.
For those of us with post-traumatic patterns, this can be especially challenging. Many of our dogs carry similar sensitivities—anxiety, hypervigilance, reactivity, separation distress, or heightened arousal. When both human and dog are activated, it’s easy to fall into a negative feedback loop: I’m stressed, so my dog becomes stressed… which makes me more stressed, and so on.
So how do we shift that cycle?
We start with ourselves.
By tending to our own nervous systems—aiming for a baseline of calm (or even better, a socially engaged, grounded state)—we become a stabilizing force for our dogs. Instead of reacting, we can absorb and help regulate their stress. This is where real change happens: not through control, but through co-regulation and presence.
Here are some simple, effective ways to reduce stress and support your nervous system:
1. Stop and breathe
Pause and take five slow, intentional breaths—in through your nose, out through your mouth. Let your diaphragm lead the movement so your belly expands and contracts, rather than your shoulders lifting. You can also explore widening your rib cage with each inhale.
If you’re feeling particularly dysregulated, try somatic breathing techniques like those taught by Peter Levine. Even something as simple as exhaling through a straw or a breathing tool like The Shift can help slow things down and bring you back into your body.
2. Eat and hydrate consistently
When we’re stressed or busy, it’s easy to forget basic needs like food and water. This isn’t the same as intentional fasting—this is neglecting the body’s signals. Over time, that can lead to dehydration, headaches, and increased stress.
Aim to nourish yourself regularly with whole foods and plenty of fluids. Be mindful of overstimulating substances like caffeine, which can elevate stress hormones. And remember—balance matters. A little indulgence here and there is part of a healthy, sustainable approach.
3. Receive bodywork
We often give our dogs calming touch, but we need it too. Human nervous systems thrive on safe, supportive touch. If possible, consider regular bodywork—massage, craniosacral therapy, acupuncture, or even float therapy.
If that’s not accessible, a warm bath with essential oils can go a long way. The key is to create space for your body to soften and unwind.
4. Move your body (and maybe dance a little)
Much of our daily movement is automatic. Taking time to move intentionally, whether through dancing, stretching, or somatic practices like Feldenkrais, can help release stored tension and restore flow.
Put on music you love and let your body move without judgment. It doesn’t have to be structured—it just has to feel good.
In addition to these foundational practices, here are a few tools I personally use to support relaxation and nervous system balance:
The White Noise Machine
Balance Pods
These are a fun way to reconnect with your body. Take short “balance breaks” throughout the day—your nervous system will thank you.
And one final tip: if you enjoy reading, try swapping your screen for a physical book now and then. Stepping away from blue light can be surprisingly restorative.
If you missed part one of this series—focused on rest and relaxation—you can check it out here: Your Oxygen Mask.
Take care of yourself. When you do, you’re not just helping yourself—you’re creating a calmer, safer world for your dog, too.